Revealing truths
by dancelikenobodieswatching
Summary: A selection of Flashbacks from a character who after recieving a shock, certain truths are revealed in memories which have been locked away for too long.


The lift opened to the reception and she walked out. She was desperate to get home and refused to acknowledge anyone as she walked out of the doors. The nurses rolled their eyes; they were used to this behavior from her. But others, who knew her better saw that she wasn't just in a bad mood, she was upset. And this was even more dangerous, so they moved out of her way like she was contagious. So caught up in her world, she didn't even notice them giving her a wide berth. She just carried on walking, a fixed expression on her face. She didn't want to cope with this right now, not here. She remembered the famous expression 'a reputation is built over years but can be destroyed in a matter of minutes.' She did not want people constantly asking if she was 'alright' or poking their noses in her business. Breaking down in tears in the busy foyer would most definitely lead to that, no matter how much she wanted to. So she did what she always did and put up the barriers. And with a stony expression with glazed eyes, Jac Naylor tried to cover up the shock of seeing her mother for the first time in twenty years.

She sat in her car, images flashing through her mind. Mainly the picture of her mother with all the children in India. Why did those children get her mother when she had to face her teenage years without? Jac did not feel selfish, she felt cheated. Especially as she remembered the day her mother left her.

Flashback

"Mum, why can't I come though, it would be like living on holiday?"

"Jacqui how many times, you can't come to India with me. It's dangerous for you, and you have everything you need here! Your Grandma can take care of you and I'll help the poor children out there who don't have parents."

"But then I won't have parents."

"You still have me silly; I'll be just helping other people. Don't be selfish Jacqueline; these people have next to nothing."

Jacqueline scowled and watched her mother pack the last of her clothes. As her mother lifted her head, Jacqueline pulled a leaflet off the bed and pretended to read it.

"Come on Jacqui, I know you're upset but this is a brilliant opportunity for me to really do some good in this world. And I'll still be your mum remember."

"But I don't want to live with Gran, I don't want to move schools, I don't want to move. I want you to stay here with me."

Her mother's expression changed to become hard as her frustrations reached boiling point as she tried to make her twelve year old understand.

"Well I am going Jacqueline so you better get used to it. You're just going to have to learn that you don't always get what you want in life and if you have an opportunity then you have to grab it! I may be your mother but I am my own person and I'm doing this for me. I don't expect you to understand now but when you're older then you will realize that you are being selfish and immature. Other people need me not just you!"

With that her mother wheeled her last of her belongings out of her bedroom, leaving Jacqueline sat on the bed absorbing the last thing her mother would say to her in twenty years. Waving to her as she got in the taxi, her face dropped as the cab turned out of the street and she was gone.

That Monday she started a new school. A pushover compared to her last school which had been a tough inner city comprehensive. As she walked through the gates her grandma kissed her.

"Goodbye Jacqui darling, now remember this is a new school, chance for a new start now it's just me and you kid."

With this and her mother's words swirling round her head she entered the school. Her long red hair scraped back in a severe braid and a determined expression on her face. She approached the reception.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm new."

"Ahh Jacqueline Burrows? Yeah you need to be down this hall and it's just passed the double doors on the left. Your form tutor is Mr. Hanson."

Scuffing her new shoes along the corridor she knocked on her new teacher's door. Seizing the opportunity, she changed in the fateful few seconds it took for Mr. Hanson to answer the door, from happy go lucky Jacqueline Burrows with her mother's charitable good will and smile to Jac Naylor, clever and cold with only a scowl and smirk as her facial expressions. Adopting her grandmother's name but none of her traits, Jac was her own person and refused to pushed around. Her mother was right, this was an opportunity for her to take advantage of these kids who would believe anything she said about herself.

The door opened and she scowled at the teacher who smiled warmly at her. Seeing her response he looked a little shocked but reminded himself that she was probably scared. However this was an emotion that no longer entered Jac's mind.

"This is Jacqueline Burrows who has transferred from another school, she is going to be joining our form. Now before I assign someone to help Jacqueline to lessons and with her timetable, would you like to say something about yourself Jacqueline?"

"Yeah. For a start it's Jac. I will not answer to Jacqueline or Jacqui. Secondly my name has to be changed on the register. My last name is Naylor. I will not respond to Burrows, that is my mother's name not mine."

She turned to face the class.

"I'll save you the trouble of finding this out on your own. Anything you have to say, say it to me not behind my back because I will find out. I do not suffer fools gladly."

The class stared open mouthed at her. The school was a good school with polite smart children who had a good reputation. The form of twelve year olds had never experienced children being dominant over a teacher before.

Jac on the other hand was quite pleased with her entrance. Whilst she allowed the class and the teacher time to get over her speech she had a good look around the class. She saw a group of girls sat at the back who looked a bit too good. Then another girl sat by herself on a table of boys. She had short cropped hair and freckles. After Mr. Hanson had told her to take a seat she took the available seat next to the short haired girl.

"I'm Melissa, but I prefer Mel."

"You know who I am."

"Everyone will now. That was some entrance."

"Yeah well, got the job done didn't it. No-one should start anything now. Now, who is who?"

"Right, Well I'm Mel obviously, I prefer sports to anything else which means I don't fit in with them. They're the popular girls, obsessed with boys and makeup, the one sat at the back with the long blonde hair, that's Amanda, she's the worst. Then there is the popular lads who sit over there and don't do anything but talk about football. The leader of them and the head of the football team and cricket team is Jack Moyer. But they hate girls taking part in sport, especially as I'm better than them."

As Mel continued her introduction, Jac noticed a small boy who had trousers that were a little too short, she could tell this even when he was sat down. He wasn't talking to anyone and had big wide eyes that looked like a rabbit caught in a headlight.

"Who is he?" She pointed at him.

"Peter Jackson, he's a bit of a weirdo, doesn't have many friends just likes to read. His dad is loaded though."

"Oh. Where do you fit in?"

"I don't, I just play football by myself. The boys won't let me play and I don't want to hang around with them!" She pointed to the blonde girls who were whispering and pointing at Jac who glared at them and they looked away.

As the bell went, Jac was handed her timetable which had the name Jac Naylor printed on the top. She smirked to herself and followed Mel to her next lesson.

When the bell rang again for break she strolled down the corridor taking her time to get to notice where everything was. Out of nowhere Peter Jackson came hurtling towards her, steaming to get to his reading place before anyone else. As he wasn't looking where he was going, she purposely stepped in his pathway. As she planned, he collided with her causing him to end up on the floor.

"What the hell you little freak!"

"I'm sorry; I was just in a hurry."

"Don't sound very sorry! Let's see what do you have as compensation for your clumsiness."

She pulled him to his feet. Still in shock, he didn't fight back or struggle. She found a five pound note and some dragon figures of some cartoon character.

"Well, I think we've found how you can pay your debt. And what the hell are these?"

"But that's my dinner money. They're Knights of the dragon figures."

"You're twelve not six you big freak! You need to grow up! And I'm sure you can afford more of it you're loaded!"

She smirked and pushed him to the ground again. Then turned and walked off in the other direction.

Flashback finished.

Everything came flooding back. The colour of the uniform, the smell of cooking past the canteen, the backpacks and classrooms. She had not revisited her school memories in a long time, determined to put them behind her like all her past, keep it locked up in her memory. But as she remembered the children staring at her, even the teachers were wary of this thin red-headed girl who simply was not afraid of anything or anyone. Detentions stacked up and only stopped when she realized she wanted to be a doctor and had to learn. But her behavior got worse towards any other child, especially Peter Jackson who used to shake if she walked past him. Even Mel was a little scared of this mysterious girl who never spoke about her mother or any other family members. All anyone knew is that she lived with her grandma.

Jac sat there quietly and then burst into tears. She had not cried like this since the day her mother had left. She howled and tears streamed down her face as she cried for everyone she had hurt. Never feeling as much remorse as this, it felt like a slap in the face. Then another memory.

Flashback

Jac Naylor's grandma had been ill for some time. The stress of Jac's behavior was enough to drive anyone mad but a seventy year old lady wasn't made to keep up with a strong young teenage girl who did whatever she wanted. Jac's behavior at school meant her grandmother had been to see her head of year eight times in a term and at home Jac wasn't much better. She kept everything tidy and clean and always did her homework, but she never talked to her grandmother who had tried constantly to get her to open up. Her mother had also called many times for her, but Jac had refused to speak to her. She was coming up to fourteen and the school were threatening exclusion if she did not calm down.

"Jac, I need to talk to you." Her grandmother's biopsy test revealed a large tumor in her lung which was too big to treat effectively with chemotherapy.

"What? I have homework to do!" She snarled.

"Please Jac, I need to talk to you."

"Fine."

"The doctor's confirmed today that it is a cancerous tumor on my lung. They said it was too big to operate and that at my age the treatment was too intense."

Jac's face dropped. She had not thought anything of her grandma when she said she was ill, but cancer?

"How long do you have?" Jac asked, straight to the point.

"About three months, as it's very aggressive. Let this be a warning to you, never smoke when you're young because it comes back to haunt you."

"What will happen to me?"

"Well, I've made arrangements for you to have a social worker, and after I'm gone, you will be taken into foster arrangements."

"All because you were stupid when you were younger, you have ruined my life! I will never get into medical school now all because of you and your stupid life choices. I hate you! I hope it's less than three months and you get the hell out of my life!"

She flew out of the kitchen leaving her grandmother stunned at her reaction.

She ran straight to her room, and began throwing things around. Her grandmother followed her up and tried to stop her.

"Get off me, I hate you! I hate you!" She fought and fought but her grandma did not let go until Jac collapsed in a heap crying angrily and punching the floor.

Breathless Jac carried on screaming.

"I.... hate …. Her! I …hate …her!"

Her Grandmother wrapped her arms around her and refused to be fought off.

"I'm sorry. I was selfish and immature, I always will be and it was wrong of me. I didn't mean it, I just can't help it. When mum went, she took the old me with her."

"I know sweetheart, I know. She was wrong to leave you now when you needed her. But you need to talk to me Jac, I can't do anything if you keep it all bottled up."

"I… can't. Whenever I try to talk about her, I get angry and hit out. I can't help it. And now you're leaving me, I know it's not your fault but I'm still going to be on my own."

"Only for a couple of years, then you'll be out and looking after yourself."

"I suppose."

Her grandmother died in hospital after taking a fall and not leaving. Jac went to her bedside every day after school, looking after herself at home. She wasn't stupid and knew her grandmother was very weak and as she died, Jac felt the last ounce of humility she had leave with her. The nurses were nice and arranged for the care worker to come and pick her up, but Jac never said a word. Just took one last look at her grandma's body before truly being alone. It was the doctors who impressed her, with their courage and convictions. Being able to have such power over someone's life was inspiring for a teenage girl who was fast becoming an egomaniac.

Jac had already decided to become a doctor, and began to work even harder for it. She sat and studied every lunch and breaks and snarled at anyone who had anything to say about it. She just sat alone, after forcibly removing Peter from his reading place. Her foster mother didn't really speak to her and her foster brother and sisters watched her from a distance. The girl just spent hours in her room studying and reading about the body. She only left it for meals and bathroom breaks. On her fifteenth birthday, she had only asked for books which she received, not staying downstairs long enough to open her cards, especially having seen one with her mother's handwriting.

Flash forward.

Jac had often been asked "who made you like this?" often by angry colleagues or hurt boyfriends. She never answered, just leaving them to make their own conclusion. Never discussing family it was an obvious guess but what they didn't realize was that it was Jac who made herself like this. Simply, because she could. The world was a nasty place; she just learnt it earlier than most.

She had never talked about it, but the main source of her sudden personality transplant was her horrible feeling of being replaced. She had been a happy young girl, she could sulk but other than that she was a pleasure to be around. But there were lots of other children who fit this category. So when her own mother replaced her with India, she became what she thought was irreplaceable. A bitch, someone who could be moved no matter how hard anyone tried.

When she finally managed to get home there was an answer phone message. Praying it wasn't work, she pressed the play button. Nope, just a double glazing company. Fantastic. Jac felt an overwhelming urge to get drunk but then realized that definitely wasn't the answer to her problems. For one of the first times of her life, Jac Naylor just wanted a friend.


End file.
